China Memoirs — The Tugboat

Chase Phillips visits the Land of China

The Flight – August 9, 2009

Everything just seemed to be too easy. We waited in lines for short periods but otherwise just breezed right though the whole experience of the airport. I even tried to create a more memorable scene by leaving all of the metal on me to go through the metal detector. The guard was in good humour and nothing happened. We walked and explored away the ninety minutes that were were confined to the terminal and even ran into some familiar faces (Alison & Crosby). When it came time to board the plane, all the Asians got up and swarmed the front not realizing that we do things in an orderly fashion here. Instructions were provided in their native tongue but no regard was given to them. This would be the first of such instances.

We eventually boarded and I discovered the true nature of my seat placement on the plane. Recall, this was my first flight. I was seated in seat 38J, the middle seat of my section. (Row 38 = XXX XXX XOX where the O is my seat) We had all the amenities of the international flight; head rest monitors, free food, free drinks (all types), much needed leg room, blankets, pillows, headphones, etc. I can only assume that these perks are not standard fare for all flights. The take-off was mildly fun. I got to feel the rush as the engine roared only send the plane hurtling down the track and then as the wheels lifted off the ground and I became airborne for the first time. Next came the popping of the ears as I ascended ever higher until we reached our cruising altitude of 35000’. That was followed by the uneasiness of the stomach and the psyche when we hit that first patch of good, solid turbulent air. All in all, it was a bit stressful but also a bit exciting.

I just tied into the movies after getting myself settled and receiving my inferior headphones. I used the free Air Canada ones despite the warnings of their awfulness. I wanted to get the full experience and decided to judge them myself. “They” were right…. The first movie I watched was ‘I love you, man’. Just as funny as the first time I saw it. Next was the “The Watchmen”. I tried to sleep afterwards but my mind would have none of it. So I watched “Coach Carter” instead in honour of Buhold. Next was the first “Transformers” movie. I was only interrupted by the frequent small meals and snacks. There was a drink after take-off, then some ‘chips’, which were actually small corn tubes flavoured with chili flakes and lime juice, not great. Another round of drinks later then lunch which could be either chicken or pork accompanied by multiple pre-packaged micro-waved goods. I took the chicken and my third beer at that point. Then there was a round of these plastic wrapped half sandwiches (two ‘meat’, one cheese; none with condiments. These were joined by a bowl of Mr. Noodles and some fruit. Only chop sticks were provided and my skills served me well. The supper came two hours from Beijing. Chicken or pasta – I took the chicken again, only this time it was curry chicken, nowhere near as good. It also came with the same ‘sides’ as the previous courses. A final beer and that was it, but I digress.

The next thing I watched on the flight was three consecutive episodes of the Office then some Big Bang Theory. Our plane had landed at this point but at the wrong airport. We had to circle due the weather and thus caused us to need additional fuel. We landed about eighty miles away to accomplish this goal. During this break I slept, actually I simply drifted in and out of consciousness while circled. Just before we departed to go back to the only place we could land and de-place, I decided to watch “Adventureland”. I didn’t quite make it all the way through before we arrived in Beijing.

We got off the plane, found Gary and the other two Canadians and made our way through the airport. Customs was just one guy standing beside a metal detector that was unplugged. They made a big deal of infectious disease and we had to pass through a bunch of masked security agents. They take it pretty seriously over there. We got to the parking lot expecting it to be fairly empty after the long delay. Four hours usually results in your ride giving up and moving on. Not these people, they were excited to have us there. They brought the five of us and our bags in a Buick van (they do exist) to Gary’s hotel. He received flowers and they filmed the whole thing. Mark and I followed a conference volunteer to find our hotel. An ultra sweaty walk saw us make a huge circle to end up there. Our room was sensational as the photos will bear evidence to. We each had a shower in our own bathrooms and then both went straight to sleep. My head swirled with the ideas of the wonderment to come.

Day II – Monday, August 10, 2009

Both of us woke up unnaturally early. We hung around our room and got prepared to meet the day head-on. Our great hotel had provided us with coupons for breakfast and we headed down to the third floor eatery. The buffet setting for breakfast was phenomenal. There was bacon, eggs, sausage, fried rice, noodles, fruits, dumplings, meat buns, other stuff I’d never heard, breads, juices, and coffee. We each had two plates before embarking to find the Beijing International Convention Center. After a few wrong turns and some sketchy hallways we found it as well as the all important registration desk. This is where we hit our first snag of the trip. Apparently my Visa pre-payment for the locals tours that coincided with conference had not been processed. This was concerning as it was included in the registration fee for the conference itself which had been processed. We made inquiries and then got my registration number from the general conference registration desk and discovered that somehow they never charged me for the tours. Alas I forked over the 320 RMB (aka rumbas) that was needed. With this taken care of we stopped to wait for the tour to begin.

While circling the lobby like an airplane looking for a spot to land, we ran into a neat dude from Virginia Tech, Dave. We struck up a conversation with him to pass the time before loading the bus for our day long adventure. This loaded bus then drove us for half an hour to our first of several stops. During the bus ride our guide for the day, Ava (English name), gave us some background knowledge of what were going to see and why these places are important. As we neared our first stop she went into a long talk about the history. The stop was the something or other Jade Factory of Beijing. It was an impressive building which afforded us our first encounter with the large guard lions. There are pictures to mark the occasion. We were quickly herded inside and introduced to our boisterous tour guide. She was a petite little girl who never gave her name, only instructed us to follow the elephant. She had a plush elephant on a stick that Ava had given her. She ran us through the carving rooms and showed us impressive carvings before leading us to a side room. In this area she again presented many fantastic carvings and then began to show us how to tell if jade is of good quality. She explained the importance of jade to the Chinese people and where that importance was rooted. After completing her enthusiastic and repetitive talk she ushered us out into a gift shop of grandiose proportions. This was a massive hall of mirrors and lights that had a coating of thousands of jade carvings covering every surface. Small price tags adorned each of these. My eyes opened pretty wide when I started looking at the price tags. I was not used to the conversion rate and figured that the measly two thousand RMB that I had brought would be gone quickly if I started buying here. So I did the next best thing. I started taking pictures of the carvings that I thought I would like to have or would make nice gifts for my friends and family. We were given almost an hour in the gift shop in hopes that we would break and end up buying a small statue or some jewelry. My frugality held strong and I escaped unscathed.

We re-loaded the bus and continued our voyage. This leg took us approximately forty five minutes. We arrived at the Great Wall around ten o’clock local time. We were told that we had two hours to explore the ins and outs of the wall and that there was an easy side and a hard side. Mark and I naturally chose to climb the much harder steep side. It was a poor choice for me. By this hour the heat had risen well over thirty five degrees Celsius and there was no breeze to give shelter against the stifling humidity. The wall looked beautiful from the bottom, like a river of humanity flowing upwards towards the peak of the mountain. We bought some touristy water and took off up the wall. My best description of it has to be that it was like climbing up a ladder with horribly uneven rungs that was set at about a twenty degree angle and extended up over a half mile. After the first third I was starting to feel the heat and my lack of conditioning quickly became apparent. I made it up to the next checkpoint and then could take no more. MacDuff continued up to what he felt was the summit but I had to shamefully bow out of our quest and slink down the hill amongst a crowd of small children. My elongated rest period at my personal wall summit afforded me the chance to take several great pictures of the wall stretching out in the distance like a lazy snake heading over the horizon. After my descent I realized that I had too much time to waste simply recovering so I had to fill it. There was a small town at the base of the climb that I felt warranted exploring. There was no one around and I felt even more out of place as ventured in and out of small shops. The shop-keepers were having a lunch which they quickly abandoned due to my presence. They would follow me around the stores suggesting things they felt that I needed, sometimes desperately. Uncomfortable is an understatement of how it made me feel. I eventually reached the peak of the hill-side town and photographed the temple that rested there. It was a strange experience to be in a town that seemed to be abandoned on the outside but so uncomfortable on the inside. I made my way back down to the tourist area and bought a couple of trinkets for Derek and Philip. The price was right but I would later find that you get what you pay for. I was one of the first ones back on the bus to enjoy the air conditioning. Mark made it back on time, much sweatier than the last time I’d seen him. We were slightly delayed in our departure due to a couple of stragglers that felt the need to get to the top regardless of time. Once Ava had us all rounded up we struck off for our lunch destination.

We drove back towards the Jade Factory and made a different turn off the roundabout. She told us a story about a Chinese hero that had overthrown the establishment and set forth a mandate of peace only to be assassinated forty odd days later. I will forever refer to this character as the Chinese William Wallace. Our short journey ended at the Yulong Friendship shop. This is small tour through an art production factory that culminated in time being spent in a lavish and large gift shop. The only difference, outside of the wares available, was that there was a satisfying lunch sandwiched between the tour and the shopping. This lunch would have a number of first time experiences for me. One was my first encounter with Chinese beer. The other was with the only thing that I could not and would not eat. It was a mystery soup that was served along with the lunch meal. I tasted it and tried twice to eat it. I failed both times and ended up leaving it behind. This would mark the only such occasion. The beer, on the other hand, was fantastic. Mark and I ordered seconds; this was how we first met the Austrian. He was a very excitable man that proved to be friendly and hilarious somehow. We three were among the last to leave the meal and hit the shop. Again, it was filled with over-priced garbage. The bus was re-loaded and we made for our third and final destination.

After circling the Chinese William Wallace again we took yet another route off the roundabout. We were headed for the famous Ming tombs this time. Ava provided us with a wonderful history lesson on the place before we arrived. She was able to point out all the landmarks and sights associated with the tomb. Modern society has grown up around this holy place but it still maintains a historical air as well as one of mystery. We slowly made our way through the various buildings and courtyards. Ava tried to keep us together but we all separated in the crowd. I marched solo through the whole place and took way too many photos. On my way back to the bus I had to stop to use the toilet and on the way back from that experience I did my first bargaining. I had my sights set on a jade elephant and I did not see any price tags as before in the large stores. I asked how much it was worth and was greeted with a number entered into a calculator. I scoffed and started to move on but was stopped and shown another lower number. At the time I had no idea that this was the game played by all merchants in China so I just kept walking. I could have whittled the price down if I had known but there would be time to learn the dance of market. I was among the first back on the bus again having grown tired of the Tombs. MacDuff was not far behind and we settled in for the hour long ride back through the rush hour Beijing traffic.

When we returned we decided that we should go and complete our registration for the conference and get everything taken care of. After a short wait in line we had all our material and were on our way back to the hotel to prepare for the opening reception dinner to be held outdoors for some reason on a lawn across from the convention center. We showed up several minutes late and quickly found some of the other Canadians. We ate, we drank, we laughed. Just before we were going to leave we encountered Gary. He introduced us to a previous student of his, Sheila. She would fit seamlessly into our little rag-tag group of Canadians. I followed some of the OSG people to a supermarket where they taught me to buy beer in China. I returned with a bounty of beverages and we shut it down for the night at around eleven local time.

Day III – Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Tuesday marked the first day that either of us had any real responsibility so we decided that an early wake up was necessary. Whether or not six o’clock was too early was not discussed and that is when we rose on the strength of our wake up call. We prepared for the day and went down for breakfast. Mark had to present his poster on this morning but did not dress for the occasion, more on that later. The breakfast was not exactly the same as the previous day but was very similar. After our meal we made our trek over to the Convention centre to the exact spot we had ventured on the previous morning. Mark had to speak with the ladies running the tours about getting his money back for a tour that he was slated to be on for that day. His poster responsibilities interfered with that plan. In the end he was unable to secure any money back but they were able to switch him into a tour later in the week so that he could fulfill both his professional duties as well as his social. With this settled he headed for the poster area with oodles of time to spare. We crossed paths with Amy and she ripped into MacDuff’s attire pretty hard. I was satisfied to stand pat and let him learn his lesson the hard way as I had the previous year. I took this hard line because it was a lesson that I will never forget. Under dressing will never be a fault of mine again, I assure you that. So after getting ridiculed Mark decided that he would go back to the hotel and change into something else. I assured him that I would put up his poster and wait by it just in case. With our plan set, he took off and I walked through exhibits. It did not take long for him to return in dress clothes and to take control of his poster. We walked through the exhibits and came across the Canadian soybean booth which was stocked with several people that we knew. We stopped to chat and then we all headed off to a presentation that Gary was giving in the first of the day’s sessions. After his talk we dispersed and attended various talks in our areas of interest. It just happened that Mark and I met up again just before lunch at a great talk on glyphosate resistance. We had lunch at the conference using our food tickets. It was a large buffet style meal that had as much variety as any Westerner could want.

The lunch crowd did manage to baffle us though. It was explained to us by an American professor of Agronomy from Missouri that the Chinese people all scramble to eat at the same moment then ten minutes later the room clears. We would see this daily at the conference lunches. With that mystery solved I set my mind to thinking about how to solve the internet in our hotel room. I faded in and out of various talks in the afternoon but my mind continued to wander. Finally I could take it no longer, as well as the talks that interested me became too scarce to bother with, and I headed back for Dragon Mountain (which is what we had started calling our room). I also was looking to have a short nap to help me recover from the time change and the furiously busy previous day. I camped in front of the television/computer monitor and tried various things. As it turned out, we needed to be using the TV remote as well as the keyboard. Also, Mark had selected Chinese instead of English. Once I changed us over to a language we could understand, getting on the internet was much easier. With this mystery solved I was able to finally doze off. Mark came back just ahead of supper time and woke me up.

We rendez-voused with a large number of the Canadian contingent and used our food tickets to enjoy a meal at a local cafeteria that was located near the Convention Centre. We were given a special debit card with 100 RMB on it to use by the conference as part of our orientation pack. We had a wild meal that included beer. Istvan was there and decided to buy us all beer. Some of the OSG people also ponied up some beer to the grad students. It was long until the Chinese feeding frenzy had ended and the cafeteria was shutting down. We were asked to leave and all decided to head up to Dragon Mountain. This would be the first of several occasions that we could proudly show off our room. We had bought more beer on the way back and this was enjoyed by all. Many stories and laughs were shared until the crowd fizzled out around midnight. It was a good day that showed an enjoyable mix of both professional development and great social interaction. The next day held much of the same promise.

Day IV – Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Mark and I slept in all the way to 6:30am on Wednesday, not sure if the booze had anything to do with or the wear and tear of traveling to a different nation. I’m assuming that it was the travel and climate adjustments. We were quicker to dress and prepare today as neither of us had any real obligations to the conference. We descended to eat at seven. Again the food was slightly different but on the whole it was identical.

We managed to make it to the opening lecture on this day, which would turn out to be our most professional day of the entire experience. The opening talks were fairly boring and the only reason we stayed for the second half was because the speaker had a wicked accent that drew us in. He was a fantastic orator. After these opening lectures we started jumping around to talks that interested us. We had previously scanned the book and mapped out our day during breakfast. Once the interesting morning talks had dried up I ventured on in the poster area to peruse the posters of the day. Nothing really jumped out at me. The sad truth was that I had some questions for some authors but no one was around to answer them. That was one of several disappointing parts of the experience. After this I conveniently ran into Mark and Michelle at the Canada booth and we decided to off for lunch at the conference. Again it was buffet style and many of the trays were the same. The food was terrific don’t get me wrong and I don’t usually need variety but this cuisine was starting to get old to me. We had a terrific meal. Mark and I sat with our Austrian friend and one of his European colleagues. We discussed some type of movement to make industry more involved with the environment as well as government. It was an interesting talk.

After lunch had concluded we walked back with some fellow Canadians and Sheila hatched a scheme that we would go off for a feast that was not put on by the conference. I guess I was not the only who was craving the spice of life, variety. We planned to go out to a restaurant called Southern Beauty. Who knows what it was called in Chinese. Once the plan was hatched we all went our separate ways to talks of interest. We reconvened for Michelle’s lecture on identity preserved soybeans in Canada. It was preceded by a long winded speaker from Argentina who was very informative. After the talk we all scattered. I decided that was enough for the day and retired to Dragon Mountain. I feel into a very devastating nap. MacDuff roused me at seven to go to the neighbouring hotel to meet our compatriots. We met up with a large portion of our Canadian contingent only to discover that an alternate plan had been developed. Lin, who is originally from China, had been invited to dine at her friends. The problem with that was that her friends had invited the entire group. To satisfy both parties a split was made of our group. Mark, Sheila, Alison and I went downtown and the rest went off with Lin.

We took a cab to the hotel or mall or whatever it was. After aimlessly wandering in a vain attempt to locate the place we stopped to ask directions. That proved to be fruitless as well. We finally took a chance on a side alley and there it was. We were greeted very enthusiastically. This was no regular restaurant. It was designed and catered to very wealthy Westerners. We were mistaken for rich people. It was fun. We were lead into a back room that was set up for our entire party. There were many people with headsets all ready to cater to our every whim. Both we and they were disappointed when we told them of our change in plans. We were escorted to a smaller table that call only be described as being in a sunken pod. It had overstuffed plush walls and was very fancy, far classier than we were used or deserved. The menu was a picture book which was very helpful considering that none of us spoke, let alone read, the language. We selected a variety of dishes that appealed to us and we were off. A few of the dishes were a shot in the dark but we were supremely confident that they would be palatable enough to consume. We were more than right. Only one dish was a cause for concern due to its chemically warm nature. I did all I could to eat the “spicy dogfood” but it got the better of me. We all ate our fill and negotiated the bill (tips are not accepted there) and were ready to depart. Well almost ready, the girls needed to freshen up in the lavatory but came back moments later filled to the brim with the giggles. We were instructed to use the facilities with out asking questions. We found a very unique situation that cannot be properly described. It has to be acted out. A very unique situation though for certain.

After a failed attempt at getting Chinese Dairy Queen we exited the complex and tried unsuccessfully to hail a cab. It was all very confusing and frustrating. We started off on foot to try and find a better location to obtain a ride home. Nothing was working. Then we had a change of heart and upon realizing that we were within striking distance of both the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square. There were lines of cabs but none were willing to transport us there for a reasonable rate. This angered us and fuelled us to walk there. It was only about a mile of so. We walked through some strange areas. We came upon a large storefront that was very well lit and had a floor covered in a thick layer of straw. If the middle of all this was a futon. On that futon was a Chinese man sleeping with a blanket covering key areas. It was assumed that he was nude. This both confused and concerned us. The giggles that had overtaken the girls re-surfaced with a vengeance. Many beggars were encountered along this stretch of road as well. They are very persistent and grabby in China. They touch you and it made me feel quite uncomfortable. The experience with the one eyed lady and the child was very off-putting. We eventually made it to our destination on foot.

When we arrived everything was shut down for the night and security forces had taken the place of tourists. We took several photos in front of the Forbidden City and Mark and I tried to emulate the facial expressions of the infamous Mao. I won. We then turned our attention across the roadway to the large empty space that is Tiananmen Square. We had to cross under the road through a well lit but otherwise desolate tunnel. There were security guards down there but the whole atmosphere made me rather uneasy. My guard was up and my fists were clenched, ready for a confrontation. There would be none though. We took some photos that probably didn’t turn out well and then headed back across the street. We decided to walk and attempt to hail cabs as we went. Only Sheila had any geographical knowledge of the area due to a previous trip. She assured us we were walking the right direction. During this walk we sort of split into two groups. Sheila and Mark walked on ahead while Alison and I laughed it up in the rear. This circumstance afforded us an interesting encounter. A group of youngish Chinese women approached us and asked to speak with us. After exchanging pleasantries in excellent English they asked us to accompany them for a drink to continue to converse. They told us they had just finished exams and wanted to celebrate. I could relate to that but my small town instincts told me to beware and I began to assume they were prostitutes. I was very evasive when they asked where we were staying and if we would go with them. We shut them down and it was a good thing too. Sheila later told us that there were trying to run the tea scam on us. As the intenet explained further, they bring you to a tea house for a drink. A pot of tea is served and consumed and up its completion they disappear in the night and leave you with the bill. Not so bad, except at the tea house they bring you to the bill is over $4000 USD. That is more than I would pay. I said I was not concerned, what little Chinese man could strike fear into my heart after all. I was a walking giant among them. But alas the nefarious characters that force payment carry weapons such as swords, guns, and ninja knowledge. So all in all it was good that I thought they were hookers and avoided their advances.

We continued walking and walking. One mile turned into two. The stagnant heat of the night was really taking its toll on all of us. We walked through several major intersections with no luck. Eventually we came to the site of a car crash and witnessed what were the beginnings of fist fight. Of course this would be when a cab finally stopped for us. We finally had our ride back to the hotel. The cab took a long route but eventually we made it back safely and affordably. Most of us fell asleep in the cab for periods of time. It was shortly after midnight by the time we tucked into bed. It was fun evening that capped off a very official and professional day.

Day V – Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thursday was my first big day of actual professional obligation. Mark was done for the conference at this point. We got up at six o’clock, as per tradition and got ready to rock. I donned my fancy new suit that I bought especially for the trip. I assumed that I looked great in it. We went for our usual breakfast buffet around seven. The only difference was that I had to lug around the big poster carrying case now. Mark and I discussed what talks would be good for him to attend. I myself was only going to one. It was the talk of Steve Shnebly, who donated material for my project. I wanted to personally meet him and let him know how my work was going. I stocked up on tissues as my cold was deepening. After eating we headed out for the conference. Mark stopped off at the Canadian booth and I erected my poster. Most people on this day put up their poster then bailed. I was the only one there that actually stood by mine. There were five hundred spots for posters and by my count there were only 48.5% of the spots with actual posters in them. I had spare time to count them up as there were no people coming to see the posters either. This was a poorly run part of the conference and if asked for feedback I would surely let them know about it.

After almost an hour of mind-numbing boredom it was time to head off to the Shnebly talk. I walked in, fully suited, and marched right to the front and introduced myself. He was happy to see me and impressed with how the work was going. We discussed his material and some results that he wasn’t happy with. I sat down to enjoy his talk which was going to feature the two lines that he had provided me. He had asked if it was alright if he recognized me and mentioned my research as well as my poster. I naturally agreed. So he went on with the talk and paused to give me a shout out in the middle in front of the fifty or so members of the audience. It was pretty cool. I returned to my poster to find that there was a sprinkling of people perusing though and taking notes. I had a series of visitors at this point that stopped to talk in blocks of a half an hour. After lunch there was a tour that was organized by the conference to many of the Chinese agricultural government buildings. We found out too late that this tour had to be pre-registered for. So the afternoon was basically free for us. I decided to go talk to the other Canadians at their booth and discuss lunch. Michelle talked me into going with them for Western-y food. As we were leaving I was stopped by an older man who was inquiring if I had spoken at the conference. I told him that I had only presented a paper and he asked if I was Canadian. I confirmed his suspicions and he countered by asking if I would be available to be interviewed for an Argentinean television special. I agreed and we headed for a large exhibit. Once inside I was prepped and we conducted the interview. At first I was fairly stumbly and awkward but I eventually picked up steam. The interviewer and the crew thanked me and I walked back to where Michelle was standing. I explained what went on and she wanted to attempt to get a copy of the footage. So we went back over and had a word with them. I told the old guy who she was then he wanted to interview her too. She was reluctant but I made it happen. It was pretty funny and fun all at the same time. Her talk was much longer and more involved than mine. Afterwards we walked back to the Canadian booth giggling and told our story to the others. I have to assume it was all made possible by my sweet suit.

We went for lunch at a Brazilian steak house in their hotel. But everyone wanted classic room service food so they requested that menu instead. This broke my heart; I hoped I would get another chance later. I went with a Chinese Club Sandwich, well at least their version. One level was a fried egg and ground chicken with a traditional BLT on the other. It was good. We made plans to walk to the Olympic park, which was just down the way, for the afternoon. I retreated to Dragon Mountain to change. When I got back over there I discovered that they had located MacDuff, Alison, and Sheila to join the tour. Together we all walked over and toured the facilities. We actually got into the Bird’s next which cost us. It was pretty impressive as stadiums go but the lack of maintenance and use was beginning to show. There was an impromptu photo shoot near the front; hopefully the photos will become available at some point. The heat was very imposing and really slowed our progress once we got back outside. After several unsuccessful attempts at leaving we eventually discovered an exit and went to look at the Water Cube. The walk across the gaping Olympic walkway was hilarious. I think I was running low on energy and fluid and started to act foolish, the pictures relay that fact. We got split up from half the group and decided to buy popsicles to survive. After waiting around looking for the others we decided it was probably time to leave. At that moment we saw them and were re-united. The groups were re-organized and some looked around more while I and the others headed back to the relief of conditioned air. I got back to room and showered and napped briefly before we were supposed to meet for dinner.

Dinner on this night was a massive Canadian group affair. The whole lot of us, some twenty eight in total, all met up and walked to a nearby restaurant to sample the infamous Peking duck. The place we went was supposed to specialize in it and was hand picked by a member of our group that was born in Beijing. It was an amazing experience. We all mixed together so we could meet new people in the group. The same order was made for each table. I got a real eye opening experience at this meal to how the Chinese feast. The round spinning platform is in the middle of the table and slowly it is covered in dishes. At any one time there could ten to twelve different choices to be made. You are given a small plate so there is a high turnover of food on it. The chop sticks gave me some trouble but that could be blamed on the beer. We feasted for almost two hours then settled up the bill and went for a walk looking for a silk store that came highly recommended. When we found the place we found it closed for the night and decided to get ice cream from McDonald’s instead. It was good, obviously unhealthier than in North America though. We lost a few members of the group in the process but headed back to the hotels around ten o’clock. Mark and I had the beginnings of a shine on and decided to stop to ask a question at the front desk. It was a good thing we did because all of a sudden Alison and Sheila walked in. It was a fortunate turn of events. They came up for drinks and entertainment. This night it consisted of internet videos that we could access. China is very strict on their censorship, especially Western websites. We had many laughs and the notorious Pigman even stopped in on us. Mark polished off his entire bottle of Karl Marx champagne and the rest of us enjoyed a couple of beers. They left around midnight as we were all exhausted. Mark and I did not last much longer after their departure. I was half done both my time in China and my professional responsibility at this point. It was a good feeling as the emails from home were getting more and more important to me.

Day VI – Friday August 14, 2009

The later night on Thursday pushed back the start of Friday. We slept in all the way to half past six again. I got ready for a day of conferencing and Mark prepared for a tour. I donned my second suit. The heat of China in the summer does not make wearing suits easy so I had to suck it up and take one for the team. After our preparations for the day we headed down to the usual spot for breakfast around eight. Mark had to leave earlier than I so he left rather hurriedly. I casually finished breaking my fast and then had a quiet walk to the poster area. I was there before nine. There was no one around. I was the lone soul in the large poster room and I was beginning to think that my time could be better spent hearing talks than fielding non-existent questions. I was able to check my email and other internet interests while keeping an eye on my poster so I did just that. The loneliness went on all morning and I paced and went for water, etc to pass the time. Eventually I found myself at the Canadian booth and plans were made to go shopping at a market in the afternoon. I was excited as I had heard about the markets. There were no set prices, you had to haggle and scheme against each merchant in a battle of wits and wills to see who could outlast the other. I was supremely confident that I would not be taken.

With my afternoon set, I planned to remove my poster at eleven. This was the time they were to be removed. I executed that plan flawlessly and returned to the hotel to change into more appropriate clothes. With my prized suits safely stowed I went for lunch at the conference. I was able to sit with a couple of American professors and ended up having a great talk about the differences and similarities between our two great nations. After eating I excused myself and headed back for the Canadian booth. The plan was that I was to meet them there, help pack it up, and then go. I guess they had gotten anxious and started early, for when I arrived, it was all packed up and there was nobody around. I waited for a couple of minutes and then decided to return to Dragon Mountain. By chance I ran into the CSC people and my afternoon was back on. We had to wait around for everyone to go change before we headed for the Yu-Chow Clothing market. I had been picking up cheap souvenirs for people as I came across them but I saw this as a big chance to really get some good stuff for all the people that I was planning on buying for. A short but terrifying cab ride got us there. It was more than I could have imagined. I cannot do it justice with simple written word. If you really want to know what it was like you need to talk to me directly and look at the photos I took.

I can speak of the events that transpired though, that I can do. Everyone went their own way after we had established a time when we were going to meet to return to the hotels. M2 and I decided to find some precious jewels for friends and family. We stopped at one booth and the girl spoke great English and was very fun to deal with. After much humming and hawing, we settled on our wares. Michelle bought several necklaces and earring sets for her mother and grandmother, as well as one for herself that I told her she had to have. I got a jade necklace made for Danielle, a string of pearls for my mother, with earrings, and a string of black onyx with earrings for Megan. We kept walking and I saw jade carvings that put me in mind of all the ones we saw at the jade factory on Monday. The ones I could not afford. Here they were much cheaper and could be cheaper still if I stuck with it. I decided to get an elephant. I weaseled the price down for awhile and when I was tired of it I paid. After walking the rest of the floor I stopped to go over my treasures. Examining the jade carving I noticed that the trunk had appeared to have been broken off and re-attached. Not good enough China. I went back to the merchant and tried a simple swap but she did not have any of the same size. So I tried a trade with cash to get that one and she was being ridiculous. I was perturbed at this point and asked for my original money back, saying I would go elsewhere. She laughed at me and walked away. They can be quite greasy at times.

We continued walking and saw some pretty neat stuff, highlighted by a small girl that painted wonderful scenes from memory using only her fingernails and palms. It was really cool; she claimed to be the best in all of China so we walked. We went down a floor to the silk floor. I picked up some fun ties for the boys. I felt I had spent enough and decided not to spend anymore that day. Michelle was growing weary of the hustle and bustle and it was nearly time to go. We came across Linda, a woman in our party, who was done shopping as well. They decided that we should get iced cream. Conveniently there was a Cold Stone Creamery next door and we went there for a great treat, free for me. It was a good first market experience for me. We went back and found everyone else and loaded into a cab and headed back to our hotels. I got back around 4:30pm after stopping at the grocery store for some drinks. Macduff was not there but I saw that he had been back and had bought a good amount of beer. I decided to lie down and write in the journal that would evolve into what you are reading right now. Eventually Mark came back to change and we caught up on our days and prepared for the dinner that night.

Friday was Beijing night at the conference. Unlike the opening gathering, this one was held indoors, although the difference in temperature was negligible. We arrived a bit late which was exacerbated by us going to several incorrect entrances to the hall. Buffets were set up everywhere but there was no where to eat. You had to stand with your plate and eat. This made it hard to hold a drink and eat. I was resourceful enough to get by. Then I started to drink. They would only serve us beer in wine glasses. Basically, there were only three ounces per glass. This made for many trips back and forth. Because I could carry four glasses at once with my big mitts, I was often the one making the trip. It wasn’t long before I started to get a mild buzz. This was the point that they shut it down though. The whole time this was going on, there was a series of small shows on stage. They were trying to show off their culture in ten minute performances. It was too hot and disorganized for me to really get the full effect. Some parts where better than others. Most of the show just confused and concerned me. The finale was all the dancers coming back on stage and having a makeshift rave. Some of the dignitaries were pulled up on stage at this point, Gary among them. They were forced to dance and carry on uncomfortably. It was a barrel of laughs for us to see Gary up there, “shakin’ it”. This portion slowly lost steam and that concluded the event.

It seemed like the end couldn’t come soon enough for Mark and I. We gathered a small force of Canadians and headed for the supermarket to stock up. Everyone headed straight for Dragon Mountain. Even Gary came with us. We hosted most of the group in our room. Many beers were drunk, music was put on then eventually sung to. It was a really good little party that we had. Everyone drinking got a pretty good shine on. Gary had me running for beers for him every few minutes. Eventually we got through them all and even the ones that we had been avoiding. The non-drinkers left first, then the people with things to do the next day. Eventually it was just the real partiers. Some people started to pass out and that was our signal that it was time to call it a night. This one was our latest of the trip but it worked out as most of us had already acclimatized to the time difference by this point. Alison and Sheila were once again the last to leave around 1:30am. Mark and I tidied up a bit then hit the hay ourselves. It was a great night to cap off an overall fun day.

Day VII – Saturday, August 15, 2009

The latest night in China led to the longest sleep in. I did not rise until well after 8. Breakfast only lasted until nine so I decided to skip it. Instead I ate some food that was in the room. Mark had already left on the tour that he had arranged in lieu of the Tuesday tour. There were no talks at the conference this day, only the closing ceremonies late in the day. I took the time to get ready for the day then packed up all my stuff and got everything ready to depart the next day. After this I just lied down, wrote some more then watched HBO. It was very refreshing. I got very well hydrated from the drinks I had purchased previous and decided would not be thrown out. I had a ticket to go for lunch at the hot pot but again chanced upon Michelle and Linda on my way there. They talked me into going with them to the cafeteria place to try the “hot pot”. I think the restaurant was called Xiabu Xiabu if you are ever there. It was a new concept for me. You order each part of your meal but then you have to prepare it. They provide you with an element, in the middle of your table, a large saucepan with a divider in the middle, and a soup base. Then you customize what vegetables and meats you would like. We chose shrimp and prime beef for the meats because we did not know how much of each we needed. We got two plates of vegetables and a big knot of noodles. You also order a flavour base which you dip everything in, we chose miso. It was a hoot to cook it all up and eat it. It was warm being near a boiling pot but I loved it. Again this was covered by the superior soybean people, I forget which.

After lunch we decided to explore a bit. I still had some gifts to buy for some key people and I recalled several shops on our way to the Peking duck restaurant. I wanted to check out a massive supermarket that was sure to hold some treasures and trinkets. We circled the block and saw some wild sights that are included in the pictures. Once we got to the corner and turned we realized we had stumbled into a weirdly organized residential area. We felt lost but I knew what was going on. We walked through a maze of buildings and hovels until we saw the main street again. Some shops along the way proved useless to me. The ladies headed back to the hotels and I was left to explore that supermarket. I found a great tea set for Grandma and some other small Chinese products for everyone else. These gifts were not what I was looking for but I felt that they would do the trick in a pinch. The pinch was that I had not had time to get proper gifts. Either that or I was too cheap to get nice stuff when I was presented with the opportunity. All in all, the gifts were not what I was looking to give.

After the adventure I headed back into the confines of the luxurious Dragon Mountain. Mark had returned by this point and he and I settled in to watch a film, Starter for 10. It was a compelling movie, so compelling in fact, that we were late for the closing ceremonies because we hung on to see its conclusion. The ceremony itself was very dramatic. There was a video that we seemed to be all over. Gary certainly was the star of it. He passed the torch over to the next chairman and his acceptance speech was the end of the conference. With a cheer we returned to our lair at Dragon Mountain one more time. After a short lounge we scuttled back to the Crowne Plaza to meet up with the group as previously arranged. We walked to a nearby restaurant called the Yellow Stone. It was catered to Westerners. Gary told us to go nuts and that he would pay. He was in a fun mood. I had a very good, yet affordable pasta meal. It was quite tasty and far better than I was used to. Mark had one of the specials, a saffron, black truffle shrimp risotto. He did not know what any of it meant but I explained it to him and he liked it, hard. Gary bought a few bottles of wine and then some tea. As it turned out the tea was worth more than his entire meal. The Chinese love their tea. Between courses Gary asked me to take him shopping the next morning as he had not had time due to his conference duties. I agreed and realized I could get better gifts for everyone I had bought for that day. The meal dragged on for several hours and at its conclusion everyone decided to shut it down. Mark and I had a couple of beers and then turned in for the night.

Day VIII – Sunday August 16, 2009

Before heading to the airport we had to spend just one more morning the Chinese capital. For some strange reason I awoke at 5:20am. Which conveniently was the exact time that Mark had to be up to rendez-vous with the others to continue on the post conference tour which I had opted out of. I would later find out that I made the better choice on that one. This according to MacDuff anyways. Back on point though; I got up to see if Mark had managed to leave and/or say bon voyage to him. I looked into his room to see him fast asleep. I double checked the time and then yelled at him to get up. He was shocked that he had slept in. We scrambled around to get all his stuff together and to get him on his way. It was a rushed moment of panic when we could not find his passport. Eventually he got everything and ran off about ten minutes after he was supposed to be there. He would later tell me that he made it and it all worked out just fine. The whole experience was eerily like the movie Home Alone.

I had a hard time getting back to sleep because of the adrenaline but I eventually faded off to sleep. I woke up, showered and dressed then packed up my stuff. I went over the whole room with a fine toothed comb. Once I had everything set up to leave I went down for my last free buffet breakfast. It was no better and no worse than any of the other days. After eating I gathered all my stuff and with a backward glance, a very sad backward glance I shut the door on Dragon Mountain for the very last time. I went across to the Crowne Plaza to meet up with Gary to go shopping for a few hours. While he was checking out there was a wedding happening in the lobby. They fired off fireworks just outside the door and filled the lobby with smoke.

Michelle met up with us as planned the previous night and we departed for the pearl market. It was very much like the clothing market. We first haggled over some jewelery. I managed to get Courtney a great pair of jade earrings and a few more strings of pearls with matching earrings. The prices seemed to be much more reasonable, either that or we were dealing with a less skilled merchant. We moved on and looked at leather goods and then shirts. Gary bought a couple after a hard bargain. On the way out of that area is when the incident occurred. I foolishly tried on a coat just to see if they could accommodate a man of my stature. They assumed I was interested. I told them I was not and they started peddling their goods really hard. They wanted me to get these two great looking Tommy Bahama Hawaiian 100% silk shirts. The price tag said $110 USD. I thought I could get a great deal. They were coming in two high on their side because they thought I wanted the too tight coat too. I got the coat out of the deal and tried for one shirt. Gary and Michelle had continued on and I feared I would lose them. I had to work fast and she knew I was pressed for time and took advantage of that. Things were getting to the point that I just did not want to participate anymore. The shirt was not worth the trouble I was going for. I tried to tell her that I no longer wanted the shirt and had to join my friends. She took this as me trying a new bargaining ploy and battled back even harder. I tried to set down the shirt but she would not let me. I could see Gary and M2 getting even farther away. My next move was to try and step past her and leave the shirt. She would not let me pass. I pushed harder. She still would not move. I was getting close to shoving her to get by when something in her face cracked. Her eyes welled up with tears and she told me I won. She sold me the shirt for one hundred RMB. I was upset and frustrated and just threw the money at her and she threw the shirt in the bag and slammed in into my chest. We both walked away angry but Big T now had a great gift.

I quickly caught up to the others around the next corner. I was able to quickly grab a billfold as well. We headed down to another floor and started sorting through the loads of hand made goods. Gary and Michelle got stuff but I had spent enough and remained shaken by the previous exchange. After skipping through the electronics section I found some lighters that caught my eye. I bought a few of them for a great price. The guy was a pleasure to deal with and even filled them all up for me. My last purchase was a positive one at least. Once we had finished our shopping we loaded back into a cab and went back to the hotel to drop off Michelle. We all decided to have a bite to eat before we left. We were joined by a former Guelph soybean breeder for lunch. We ate at the lobby restaurant and I ordered the same thing as the previous time. Once again missing out on the Rodizio aspect of the enclosure. After paying our debt we loaded into another cab for the long ride to the airport. The ride was uneventful, so much so that I managed to pass out for most of it. I was still feeling the fatigue of the early morning which played into my favour for sleeping on the plane. We were well ahead of schedule for our flight which was leaving on time with great weather. I read my book while Gary enjoyed the executive lounge.

The whole flight thing went so smoothly that it hardly seems worth mentioning. We lined up, got on the plane, got settled and took off. The only hiccup was that I got stopped in security for having a lighter in my coat. I had forgotten it was there. It was not a problem on the flight over as the coat was in my checked bag but reshuffling due to the gifts put it in my carry-on. Once on the plane I managed to strike up a conversation with an attractive woman beside me. We talked for an hour or so about our trips and experiences before I decided I had had enough of her free spiritedness. She was nice; do not get me wrong, but the emotional topics she was covering were not what I wanted to hear. We both started watching the in flight entertainment. I do not recall what I watched as I was in and out of consciousness for most of the flight. It was perfect; I slept for at least seven of the thirteen hours. This made the flight seem to fly by, excuse the pun. The food was notably worse on the way back. The West doing Asian was far better than the Asians doing the West. I drank more on the way back with more bathroom visits. The cougar lady was always out of her seat so it made things much easier for me to get around the plane. I was getting uncomfortable by the end and was starting to cramp up. I watched carefully on the flight path map as we got close to Toronto. We landed gently and de-boarded quickly. I found Gary and we headed for baggage claim. The belt malfunctioned twice and my bag was one of the last ones and the posters did not surface. We eventually found them in a side room. It was a breeze getting through customs although it was not without its gut tightening moments as all experiences of that nature.

We found the car quickly and headed west. Construction slowed us down a great deal but eventually I made it to the pick-up point. There was some confusion but Derek managed to locate me and take me home. It was weird to be home after the long flight. I showcased my purchases and gave the boys their gifts. They were pleased. I talked for an hour or so to them about the trip and then decided to head to bed. I could not sleep due to the time change and jet lag effects. It took a few days to get back on my feet physically.

Final Word

Overall it was a great experience I would recommend it to anyone. Do not ask me to go with you though. I do not have the time, money, or knowledge to make it happen. I would be a lousy tour guide and I learned almost no Chinese. I did learn a good deal about the culture and way of life of the people though. It really made me think differently about the people I see in my day to day travels. I was very glad and thankful to have had the opportunity.